Thursday, January 27, 2011
Blog 22: Proud to say that I've Moved on
I remember the time when the need to see and talk to you, even think about you seemed utterly necessary for my living. But now I frown upon the memories. There was once a time where you were true and I believed every word you said but now when I look at you, I know the lies you shed. Then and now, it hasn't changed a bit; the only thing is you've got a new "girlfriend" to hook you on a leash. I sometimes can't believe how completely naive I was to believe in you or even smile in your direction. My first response was the correct one: run and hide. I should have stayed hating you, it would have been better for us both...for a lot of people. I should thank you I guess for everything that I learned from being with you. I'm glad that I didn't know what I do now when I was with you or else I wouldn't be who I am today. And this way, reborn from all the heartache and sorrow, I can truly love without holding back and it is a grand feeling. I've almost forgetten everything we used to say to one another besides the fighting and the lies so to me that means the "love" we had wasn't important after all. All of this made me realize that it happened to make me stronger but at the same time, the one who truly loves me now wants me to be weaker because he knows its okay to cry. He's slowly helping me become more open with myself and his patience is godlike; I'm coming around. But being picky helped me find the one for me and I'm glad that I was such a hard "ape" about everything because he's beyond perfection and I love him dearly. I could not and would not leave him for anything and I'm sure that forgiving him would be more worth it than all the times I looked up to you. But you see, he doesn't need forgiveness like you did; he only deserves my love and affection. I'm proud of him in ways I couldn't have imagined with you. I wouldn't change a thing about him or the way we are together and I'm never going to be disappointed or a disappointment. He's a wonder and nothing less and I don't need you anymore.
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Good for you, Ashwee! I love you and I'm happy to see that you're moved on from that bad chapter of your life. Things will only continue to get easier/better for you and I'm SO happy that you've found someone like Andrew to keep your heart happy even when you don't know that you need it to be lifted up. (Plus, as a best friend I approve of this relationship 100%; which is a bonus! ;D) I can only assume that I know who you're talking about in this post and I wont single him out online because that's rude of me. But I'm so happy that you can honestly write these words out and post them and know that you really do mean it. I'm proud to call you my best friend and I love you so dearly. :) And you muuuussst visit me when you move, or at least have usual skype convo's with Brooklynn and I. Even though I plan to move to Pennsylvania when I graduate and you're going to Virginia, right? Which makes it do-able for us to have occasional visits. :) I love you! (I believe that's the third time I've said that? Hah, jeeze. I'll stop typing now so I wont smother you with my 'online' love.)
ReplyDeleteYay that is amazing!!! I'm glad that you were able to find someone that you could be with!!!
ReplyDeleteYay!!! Glad someone else is like that! I might do that with this series because I really enjoyed them! XD Hee hee, Yes I think we definitely should!!! I will txt my mom after school because she's in grand island right now with our grandma and a friend having a blast. O.O ICECREAM!!!!!!!! YUM XD hahahahahaha. I love icecream but yes we must do that because it was absolutely so much fun to do last time!!!!!! I will let ya know :P I love you too <3 lol
its funny tho because it is so true :) he doesnt deserve anything im just happy to know that he is suffering with his "pretty" girlfriend(frog)and he can just sit and know that every person that ever was close to him hate him :) kudos for writing this made my day fer sure :)
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