I'm faced with a predicament: I know what I want in life and how to obtain and manage it but its going to be frowned upon by many and misunderstood. I swore to myself and others that I would do what I wanted in life no matter what because nothing should be an obstacle. This is how I plan to go about handling my situation with my head held high. But I'm not looking forward to having to explain myself to everyone and besides, the majority of them wouldn't understand it anyway so in a sense I'd be wasting my time and breath. I'm debating with myself if it would be better to tell everyone what's going on and why or if I should just remain silent about it all and let them think what they want. I guess they'd think what they'd want to anyway no matter what I said. You see my dilemma now: no matter what I say its not going to make the situation any better but I don't want people to get the wrong idea about the whole thing. I'm afraid that even the ones I'm closest to are still going to get it wrong and judge me...I don't know if I could handle that.This has been eating away at me for a few days now and I'm still unsure of what I should do. I feel as though even if its a waste I should explain the truth to those who criticize and let them think of me how they will; for better or for worse. Because what I'm doing with my life will not be changed or influenced by someone else's thoughts about it; that I will not allow. I have freedom and I'm going to use it to my fullest advantage (just as everyone else should).
On another note, I still find it interesting and kind of odd that by writing down your mental battles, rants and raves, it seems to clear it all up and make things better. I never actually expected that by doing so it would help. I mean, I've wrote out some of my more personal arguments and objections through someone else's point of view in a story but this is a bit different because its myself. And as I go back and re-read my previous blogs I find that how my mind works amazes me because it ranges from silly to serious and everything in between; its weird to think that I was the one who actually wrote them. I wouldn't give up writing for anything.
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