Blog 39: Letter to a Friend

Dear Dakota,

It's been so long since I've thought about you...I miss you. I can't believe it's already been close to 5 years since you've passed; some days it just seem like yesterday. There are so many things that you've missed out on...driving, prom, graduation, college, your mom's wedding, my engagement, Dan and I having a baby girl, Diego turning 16 and getting his license to drive, and soon to be, my wedding. If you were still here with us, you would've been my maid of honor; I wish I could see you in the dress that's picked out because you would've been so beautiful in it. Your mom is standing in your place; I just couldn't do it without you, I guess. You were my best friend and I loved you. There are times that I remember so clearly our times together when we were young and I miss it. We were such dreamers back then...

I went by your grave today for Memorial Day...it's been far too long since I've been by there to say "hello" like I used to. Your head stone is beautiful; even in the rain. Your mom went by today, too, and left a very pretty flower arrangement that said "daughter" in purple flowers. I know she misses and loves you, so much...you're still very much a part of our lives. There were several other bouquets; I guess everyone was thinking of you...you touched so many people, I know I'm not the only one to miss you. You were so strong, beautiful, creative, and smart...you should have gone so far in life and done so many great things. In a way I feel like I didn't do some of the things I wanted to because you weren't there to share the experience with me...they were our thing. Every time I see or hear Christina Aguilera, I think of you and how you used to worship her music and it make me smile. You were such a gifted singer.

As Lilia gets older, I promise she'll know her mama's amazing childhood friend; I couldn't let her go without the memories of us. I still have the white rabbit, Ruby Beth, you gave me that looks like Diamond Ruthy's twin and once my daughter can understand the importance, it'll be passed down to her. I brought my rabbit to the funeral; it helped me feel closer to you...like you hadn't really gone.

I'll make it a more frequent thing to visit and share what's going on with you; I'm upset with myself for not having done that sooner. Life just gets ahold and drags us along sometimes, I guess...I just wish you were here with us...

I love you; you're in my prayers.

Love always,

Ashley <3